Tag: Satire

Biden Forgets to Pretend he Cares

When asked about his handling of the classified documents he kept in a box in an unsecured garage for six years, Biden responded he has “no regrets.” As a sociopath, I completely understand this sentiment. Why should we regret anything? We kick ass and take names, that’s what we do. You’re the people who regret shit. Regret is for losers. And Biden’s president, not you.

HOWEVER, as I discuss in my book at length, part of the art of fitting in and pretending you’re normal is pretending you give a shit — feigning concern for possibly compromising the lives of intelligence agents somewhere. This was a bad look on Biden’s part, one that may cost him his chances at reelection. He better get my book before it’s too late…

Biden has no Regrets about Fuck Up

DOJ Allows Biden to Self-Report

Every sociopath should aspire to Biden’s level of power. The guy is so untouchable the Department of Justice is allowing him to search for stolen classified documents himself, without interference. That’s like letting a murderer search for buried bodies himself, without being on his case. It’s power. It’s impressive. And It’s the kind of cache we should all work towards.

FBI WILL NOT MONITOR BIDEN’S DOC SEARCH

Biden Forgets to Destroy the Evidence

Biden has committed the cardinal sociopath sin: he left the murder weapon lying around. As discussed in my book, there is no business like politics. And there is no commodity as valuable as the United States. The goal of every sociopath in politics is to exploit America for all she’s worth, whether it’s selling secrets or starting wars for the sake of the military industrial complex. But you can’t leave evidence lying around. Just ask Bill Clinton. Mr. President, from one sociopath to another, I’m disappointed in you.

Sociopath has a Stupid Alibi

Bryan Kohberger, the accused killer of four students, says he was in Idaho for the shopping. Cause we all know that’s what Idaho is famous for: shopping. Also, this ugly creep hasn’t shopped a day in his life except for knives, draino, handcuffs and LL Bean flannels. His lawyers are going to have an uphill battle if the rest of his excuses are this stupid.

Idaho Killer says he was in Idaho for the Shopping, not the Killing

Sociopath Angry NFL Game Postponed for Dying Man

Heartless bastard, Skip Bayless, was pissed the Bills-Bengals game was postponed because a player was in cardiac arrest. Now, when I say “heartless bastard,” I mean this as a compliment from one sociopath to another. Skip probably had money on the game. And what’s the life of some football player compared to our bottom line? Skip was right to be outraged at the delay. He probably just shouldn’t have tweeted it.

He should read my book. It will help him pretend to have empathy for sick or dying people.

Skip Bayless Upset “Crucial” Game Postponed for Dying Player

Kamala Mad at the Media

The Vice President is angry that the press doesn’t appreciate her greatness. I sympathize. As sociopaths, we can’t expect the common-folk to value our extraordinary abilities. When faced with such prowess, the losers who write “stories” for a living tend to either criticize or envy.

Look at Trump: they don’t appreciate what a genius he is. Or as he puts it so perfectly: a stable genius. We sociopaths feel your pain Kamala. Just know this: WE recognize the “strength of your leadership,” even if no one else does. What more do you need?

Kamala Harris complains media have failed to cover ‘strength’ of her leadership

Another Sociopath Bites the Dust

It’s a sad day when one of my kind is laid low. If only Andrew Tate had read my book, he might not be buried beneath the jail. Before his arrest, he said, “if they want you they’ll get you.” That’s right, Andrew. Though we sociopaths are superior to the common sheep, there is nothing as powerful as the establishment. And if you buck the establishment, you’ll be crushed. The better way for our kind is to join the establishment. Run for office. Washington is brimming with sociopaths: it’s like our social club. Andrew would have been welcomed by the perverts, rapists, grifters and thieves who make policy. Instead he chose to stand out. Well done, Andrew. Well done. Maybe you’ll be the top dog on your cell block. What a pity…

Andrew Tate arrested for rape after saying he thinks rape victims must “bear responsibility” for their attacks.